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August 08 2017

astriiferous:

“When you post something on the internet it’s going to be seen by everyone!!!11″

image
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desnaa:

friendly reminder that lars always has been and always will be a beautiful character

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mothersushi:

they were my favorite. how lovely!

August 07 2017

wenamedthedogkylo:

thealpacalypse:

do you know what I really hate? early morning culture. the misconception that getting up early is inherently better than sleeping in. that people who stay in bed longer than 8 am are lazy and have an unhealthy life rhythm and that apparently they “miss the best part of the day”. that causes so much unnecessary shame and guilt, especially in young people whose inner clock doesn’t work that way - scientifically proven, teenagers can’t reach their mind’s full potential before 10 am. And more generally speaking: why should we care if someone gets up at 10 or 11 am and goes to bed far after midnight? I would get so much more shit done if I wouldn’t feel so guilty for staying up late and sleeping in. 

100000% this. Also Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder is a thing. But mostly just yes.

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peep-toe-shoes:

margoteve:

tobiasxva:

Roast the fuck out of them. Being family doesn’t mean you ever have to be okay with that shit.

*slow clapping at the dad*

I always reblog this.

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choachie150:

spectrometon:

krustybunny:

acciowine:

justrollinon:

bsparrow:

ashermajestywishes:

kendralynora:

so is Victory

LOVE TRIANGLE

Don’t forget Truth (Coming Out of Her Well to Shame Mankind)

This must be why the Trump administration hates them all 

The Four Horsewomen of the Trumpocalypse.

I’ve never reblogged anything so quick

The Ultimate Squad, comin’ to wreck your shit and save the world

Rb for that art doe

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sadfishkid:

#potterweekprompts2017, day 2: “must be a weasley”

(jsyk the insect fred is holding is a billywig and its sting causes levitation; in other words, percy is about to learn how to fly without a broom)

(on twitter)

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weavemama:

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

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isabellacapets:

animorphs aesthetics- aftran 942

Some of us also want peace. Some of us want to find a better way.

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princesconsuela:

#when you’re broke af

hi hey hello this post has been made before but please try not to make fun of people for their autistic traits such as

bluesroom:

• telling the same joke/ wanting to have the same conversation over and over again

• not having much coordination and having a tough time doing “easy” things like tying shoelaces

• having trouble understanding what you mean and needing lots of clarification

• needing things to be broken down into little steps

• having extremely high or extremely low empathy

• getting very attached to things like inanimate objects

there are a lot more but these are just ones i haven’t seen mentioned before!! feel free to add on if u think of anything else

forkless-a-spec-wonder:

Sex repulsed, sex indifferent, and sex favorable people are all valid, whether they’re acespec or allo.

All these terms describe your relationship to sex, not your attraction. Your identity is not compromised by being sex favorable while acespec or sex repulsed while allo.

accio-shitpost:

accio-shitpost:

you know what’s cool? dragons.

you know what’s not cool? being forced to fight dragons

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systlin:

karama9:

quietlyglittering:

wolfayal:

hogwartshiddenswimmingpool:

This is Kjell Lindgren. He’s a NASA astronaut who just got back from 5 months on the International Space Station. There are two reasons why this picture is hilarious:

  1. His wife is flawless and makes bad space puns to make him do household chores.
  2. I have that shirt. Thousands of people have that shirt. That shirt is available at Target. Which means actual astronaut Kjell Lindgren, with his wardrobe already full of NASA-issued and logo-emblazoned clothes, was at Target, saw a NASA shirt, and was like, “Yes, I am buying this because this is what I want to spend my actual astronaut salary on.”


 tl;dr NASA employs a bunch of fucking nerds

It gets better.

Courtesy of Wikipedia, here’s the poster NASA released for his mission to the ISS:

NASA confirmed for a bunch of fucking nerds

*wipes single tear*

They’re just too beautiful.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. 

NASA personnel are, like, the top nerds. The alpha nerds. The absolute nerdiest nerds. The nerds other nerds look to for nerdspiration. 

phantoms-lair:

lornacrowley:

lornacrowley:

this happened during the pre-chopped era so idk if anyone remembers this but there was this one episode of cake challenge where they had to make birthday cakes for one of the judges and this one contestant HATED that judge so she made this like, giant slab of undecorated yellow cake and stuck a bunch of skewered strawberries on it (i think the judge was like. known to have a scott conant red onions-like relationship with strawberries) and then she set it on fire and presented the burned mess to the judges table. anyways i think about that at least once a month it’s so aspirational

i dont remember the episode name but this was the cake

Okay, so I remember this episode clearly, I had it saved on my DVR till it busted.

Okay, the cake artist here is named Stevie, and she is one of the few I have no respect for. She is an Artiste  and italics can’t quite portray the disdain dripping from my mouth when I say that.

To give you a rough example of why i feel that way, let’s go back to her first time on Challenge. The contest was rice krispy treat (*couch* I mean cereal treat) bridges. What Stevie did was have a wooden frame tilted at an angle with strings for the bridge cables, which she wrapped in seaweed. Notice something I didn’t include in that description? Yeah, no cereal treats in the cereal treat contest. In fact, nothing really edible at all. In a food challenge. Plus if I remember correctly the thing fell and broke.  So yeah, she came in last place and actually complained how the win was stolen form her because the judges were too blind for her artistic vision. Yeah. One of those.

So let’s break down this train wreck, shall we?

For starters, it wasn’t terrible on purpose, her initial plan was to show up Kerry Vincent and make her have to acknowledge her superior skill. But things started going wrong almost immediately. take the Strawberry Spikes. Stevie realized her cake wasn’t going to be as tall as the rules required (apparently she read them this time) so she used those to make up the height. The weird crinkly edging, for I don’t remember what reason she plated the outside of the cake in Sugar sheets. I think it was to make it look smooth but it didn’t work out. Especially when she kinda snapped half way through and just started tossing chocolate syrup, honey, and whatever else she could on.

And then the best part. Stevie decided the cake needed candles. And by candles, I mean little ramikins filled with alcohol. Which she lit on fire. Fun fact about sugar sheets - they are highly flammable. So yeah, Stevie set her cake on fire during the judging.

I honestly think it looks better post fire extinguisher.

On the flip side, let’s talk about Jason Ellis, aka the guy who won.

He’d also taken heavy criticism in the past from Kerry. And he built his whole cake around showing her how much he’d listened and improved. He started his planning process not with ‘Birthday cake’ but ‘what do I know about Kerry and what she values in cake’. And made this

Clean, elegant, and precise.

These two cakes symbolize the difference between learning from criticism and getting butthurt.

milesmoralles:

someone: why are you so obsessed with that movie/TV show?

me: 

8hy:

sorry i can’t relate to mean people. i can understand not being openly friendly but how can you go out of your way to actively be so mean….on purpose….for fun….aren’t u exhausted …

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greyjoying:

bb8s:

If life were to suddenly get fair, I doubt it would happen in high school.

Sky High (2005) dir. Mike Mitchell

#killed marvel and dc in cold blood

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kyraneko:

tommyoliverblogs:

rosexknight:

techmomma:

aislinnmln:

Also: Good luck ever having spare time to do something you want to do. Like have a hobby. Or friends.

Good luck not getting sick every winter.

Good luck finding health insurance in that price range.

Good luck finding a car payment in that price range without GREAT credit (which most people in this situation are highly unlikely to have.)

Good luck finding Car/Home insurance in that price range. Car insurance alone is likely to cost more than that. Home or renter’s insurance will just add to that.

Good luck ever being able to actually have that savings.

Gods help you if anything goes wrong. Like a car malfunction. Or you get sick. Or you get into an accident.

This sounds like some YA dystopian novel bullshit. But even less subtle.

I also really wanna know what the fuck minimum-wage job is gonna give you enough hours to make nearly $1000 monthly.

Look, if you’re full-time and work four FULL 40-hour weeks every month, you make $1200 a month. And that’s BEFORE taxes cut that down to like $900 or $800. BUT that is only IF you work the max hours of time that a full-time position can give you, which most companies DON’T (I was full-time retail and unless it was Holiday season or we were short-handed I only got about 32 hours a week.

This person probably isn’t full-time because they have two jobs, and realistically no employer is going to give someone that already has a full-time position elsewhere a full-time position with them. Which means this person is part-time. I think this post assumes they get 20 hours from both jobs to make up a full-time income, but even then that’s a HUGE IF. Because part-time work is HELLA inconsistent, meaning you might get your fantastic 20 hours one week but then only 17 the next and only 4 the week after that. So basically with this budget if one of your jobs drops you below 20-hours at all your fucked. If taxes go up in your state? You’re fucked. Any of your insurance rates go up? You’re fucked. And don’t even get me started on the AMOUNTS of everything in this. Basically, this budget realistically is a fucking joke.

US minimum wage is 7.25 an hour.

If we IGNORE taxes, and do a simple $2060/7.25, that comes out to just over 71 hours a week of working. With taxes it’s probably well over 80.

Including 8 hours of sleep, this is pushing the realms of CHRONOLOGICAL POSSIBILITY, let alone realistic implementation and legitimate expense values.

I’m curious as to whether McDonald’s is positing themselves as the first job ($1105) or the second job ($955).

Excluding taxes for the moment:

For the first job, to get $1105 per month one would have to work 152.4 hours, or 38 hours a week.

For the second job, to get $955 per month one would have to work 131.7 hours or 32 hours a week.

Total take-home pay for the month is $2,060. Multiply that by twelve and you get $24,720. 

For working 70 hours a week.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S LESS!

Remember how I said “excluding taxes for the moment” up there?

It’s tax time, because defrauding the IRS is generally not considered an acceptable means of saving money.

Lacking any word on whether McDonald’s and Visa up there actually forgot to include taxes in their expense list (oops, amirite?) or if those incomes listed are your projected after-tax pay, I’ll run both sets of numbers.

Option one: you still have to pay taxes on the above because they forgot:

Applicable federal tax brackets are: 

  • 10% of taxable income $0 to $9,325
  • 15% of taxable income $9,325 to $37,950

So you’re paying 10% of the first $9,325 and $15% on the rest of it. The rest of it, in this case, being $15,395.

10% of $9,325 is $932.50. 15% of $15,395 is $2,309.25. That makes your total tax bill come out to $3,241.75, or $270.15 per month, reducing your take-home pay to $1,789.85.

(While you might manage to obtain deductions and tax credits to reduce some of this burden, that comes once a year after you’ve filled out your taxes. Tax withholdings are generally taken out of every paycheck, so if you get any of that pay restored to you it’s delayed for most of a year. Which would suck if you were living paycheck-to-paycheck like a minimum-wage worker or something … oh wait.)

Option two: the numbers up above on the budget were the post-tax take-home paychecks for both your jobs.

Now this is where it gets awkward because your total tax rate varies based on what percentage of your income is taxed at 15% vs what percentage is taxed at 10%, which of course varies with how much you make. A higher pretax income total results in a slightly higher total tax rate (though never enough to overcome the benefits of a raise). 

In the previous example the tax rate came to 13.1% of the entire $24,720.  In the new example it would be slightly higher because the pretax income is higher. But for the sake of expediency, let’s be generous and pretend it’s for some reason still 13.1% and the net incomes listed above are after a withholding of 13.1% of the paycheck.

Further complicating things, that 13.1% is 13.1% of the pretax total, which should mean (I am not a mathematician, I just play one on the internet) that since 100-13.1=86.9, the take-home pay listed should be 86.9% of the pretax pay.

Which means that for the first job, the pretax pay would be $1,271.58, which, at minimum wage of $7.25 would require slightly over 175 hours per month, or 44 hours per week, and for the second job, the pretax pay would be $1,098.96, which at minimum wage would require 151 and a half hours per month, or not quite 38 hours per week.

That is to say, something around 82 hours per week of work.

Presuming, of course, that your two minimum-wage jobs both give you that many hours, and do so without ever once conflicting with each other, preferably also in a manner that allows you to get any fucking sleep.

Somehow that strikes me as about as realistic as $20 per month health insurance.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S LESS!

State income taxes.

I’m not even gonna go there.

But hey! For the low low price of basically your entire waking life you can spend 82 hours a week doing shitty, thankless work for someone who thinks your job is too worthless to treat you well but too valuable to let you spend a moment leaning against the counter when you could be swinging a mop, cannibalizing your precious sleeping hours to commute back and forth, trading all manner of favors to your coworkers to switch shifts with them to avoid schedule conflicts, and making blood sacrifices to the Elder Gods in the hope that nobody cuts your hours, all for an income that’s been pronounced generous by somebody who thinks health insurance costs $20 a month and heating is an optional extra.

Are you feeling fucked over enough yet?

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